Despair
What do you do when you are in despair?
What is despair? Have you ever been there? In the darkest moments of my life, I've visited the corner of my mind that holds despair. It's dark, lonely, and honestly, I never want to go back. Maybe you've been there, or perhaps you've come close. Or maybe, you've never ventured into that mental space at all. But what exactly is despair? And what can we do about it? Research suggests there is an antidote, and the Bible also offers insights into this troubling mindset.
I’ve been revisiting Brené Brown’s studies, and in her work, she explores what despair is and how we might walk out from it. Despair, in essence, isn’t just sadness or anger, it’s something deeper. It emanates a sense of powerlessness. It’s the feeling that you can't change what’s happened, and you have no control over what comes next. It's like living in Groundhog Day, you believe nothing will change.
Hopelessness, on the other hand, is often felt when we’re powerless over one specific thing. But despair? Despair is hopelessness stretched over your entire life. It’s pervasive, like a shadow weaving through every part of your existence. Have you ever felt that? A sense of doom that clouds your whole life, with no way out? Maybe one misfortune after another has piled up, and now you're stuck in a negative thought pattern. That pattern alone can pull you deeper into the pit of despair. Perhaps you invested all your hope in a presidential election, and when your candidate lost, your hope unraveled. When we pin all our hopes on one thing, losing it can feel like losing everything. Or maybe you’re dealing with a medical issue that touches everything in your life. It’s no small struggle when an ongoing condition impacts your day-to-day, and it can feel like there’s no escape. But is there? Here’s the powerful finding from research: to climb out of despair, we need hope. Hope is the antidote. But sometimes, when we’re trapped in despair, it’s hard to even imagine hope. So how do we practice hope when everything feels bleak.
We do it in small increments. We break down our big hopes into smaller, more manageable goals. This isn’t about reversing things we can’t control, like changing the outcome of an election or making a medical issue disappear. It’s about focusing on the things we can control: small steps, small wins, and small moments of hope. These incremental actions can help shift our perspective. But here's a question: do we truly believe in our ability to achieve these small goals of hope? Research shows that our belief in ourselves plays a crucial role in whether our goals come to fruition. Hopelessness, in fact, often arises when we fail to achieve our goals. But when we believe in our ability to take small steps, we open the door to new possibilities.
Brené Brown’s research brings another powerful insight: hope isn’t something we’re born with; it’s something we cultivate. Her studies demonstrate that hope often grows out of struggle. The students she interviewed who hadn’t faced significant hardship were the ones who struggled most with hope. It turns out that hope isn’t the absence of struggle, but the ability to find possibility within it. Hope is forged in the fire of adversity. So, what does the Bible say? As with many of the studies we analyze, the research often comes very close to the truth. I can see why it’s powerful and effective, but there’s a slight gap, just enough that some people may not find lasting success and, over time, may feel like giving up. But there's enough truth in it to make it impactful. And in that gap, we also see our human fallibility, as well as God's gifts to us.
“The Bible teaches this truth long before modern studies caught up.”
What’s God’s gift for us? Hope. God has given us the gift of hope, a hope that can only be born from struggle. Research shows that hope arises from adversity, and interestingly, the Bible teaches this truth long before modern studies caught up. As Romans 5:3-4 puts it, “Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope.” So, when we find ourselves facing adversity and despair, how do we practice hope? The research suggests we take it one step at a time and of course the Bible emphasizes the power of taking things day by day.
Take, for example, the creation story. When I feel like I’m starting from nothing, when everything feels like it’s at the beginning, I find myself drawn back to the opening chapters of Genesis. In many ways, this story offers profound wisdom for beginning anything. God created the world in six days and rested on the seventh. Everything unfolded step by step, one day at a time. Did God have to do it that way? Of course not, he’s God. But the rhythm of creation offers us a pattern: He didn’t rush it. He didn’t try to do everything at once. He showed us, through his own example, how to begin, one step at a time.
“But here’s the real question: Can anyone guarantee that everything will be okay? What is the foundation for this hope?”
We can practice hope by cultivating small hopes that eventually lead to bigger ones. We may worry about a medical issue, a political outcome, or a negative thought pattern. And maybe, over time, we move from these smaller hopes to a greater hope, a hope that, in the end, it will all be okay. But here’s the real question: Can anyone guarantee that everything will be okay? What is the foundation for this hope? If there is no foundation to this hope, it will at one point collapse. So, is there someone who can guarantee that everything will be okay in the end. The answer is yes, Jesus can. In John 16:33, He says, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” So, while research is uncovering the gifts God has given us, scripture helps us navigate these discoveries with more impartiality and truth. It points us to the ultimate source of our hope: Jesus, who has already overcome the world on our behalf.
Citation
Brown, B. (2021). Atlas of the heart: Mapping meaningful connection and the language of human experience. Random House.
The Bible. (2016). English Standard Version (ESV). Crossway.
(Original work published 2001)
